5. Why We Don’t Know How to Pray Our Emotions (with Rankin Wilbourne)

Most people don’t know how to pray their emotions… even after years of faith.
What if the Psalms were meant to teach you how?

In this conversation, John Ortberg sits down with author and pastor Rankin Wilbourne to explore a life-changing idea: learning to pray your emotions.

Many of us either suppress our feelings or let them control us—but the Psalms offer a better way. They give us language, permission, and structure to bring our real selves before God.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

- Why most people struggle to pray honestly
- The difference between suppressing, expressing, and praying emotions
- A simple framework to process emotions with God (OWN: Observe, Welcome, Name)
- What “pre-reflective prayer” means—and why it matters

This is Part 1 of a 3-part conversation.

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Music Credits:
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00:00 – Opening + Introducing Rankin Wilbourne
00:55 – What the Psalms Are Really For
01:35 – “Pray Your Emotions” (Why This Is Hard)
02:02 – Tim Keller’s Insight on Prayer
02:46 – Two Common Mistakes With Emotions
03:14 – Why Christians Struggle With Feelings
03:46 – A Better Way: Don’t Deny, Don’t Enshrine
04:17 – The OWN Framework (Observe, Welcome, Name)
05:18 – Why Naming Emotions Heals
05:40 – What Mister Rogers Got Right
06:09 – “What’s Mentionable Is Manageable”
07:12 – Pouring Out Your Heart to God
07:36 – Why We Try to Fix Instead of Feel
08:09 – Permission to Be Human Before God
08:38 – How to Actually Practice This
09:04 – Learning Prayer by Praying
09:34 – “Trust and Pour Out Your Heart”
10:00 – Why We Avoid Our Own Hearts
10:25 – The Problem of “Willed Loneliness”
11:01 – Vulnerability Before God
11:34 – Does God Really Want This From Me?
11:59 – What Is Pre-Reflective Prayer?
12:26 – When Theology Gets in the Way
13:05 – Practice: Name What You’re Feeling
13:53 – Why This Matters (Preview of Part 2)